She would never go out with more than one guy at a time," you tell your straight buddy, Mike. with a pointy stick!) to the unintentionally gut-busting dialogue ("Michelle's not like you. From the B-movie title and the hilarious action scenes (stab swarms of killer gnats. ![]() All the virility of a prison weight room, without the troublesome aroma.īest Game That's So Bad, It's Good: Escape From Bug Island (Wii) - Here's the Barbarella of 2007, a godawful game whose merits will shine through in time. And you defeat the gargantuan final boss by - spoiler ahead - blasting your way into his ass and climbing up through his body until you can shoot at his brain from the inside. Everything you shoot, no matter how seemingly inert, explodes into flames. Is there a better way to blow 10 minutes of your life? No, there is not.īest Substitute for Actual Machismo: Contra 4 (Nintendo DS) - Oh, the sheer badassery! Pick from four equally ripped, equally shirtless commandos. But don't forget to turn down the volume before that grateful lass cries out, Take me and crush me with your love!, lest the maiden of your household crush you with a toaster.īest Weird-Ass Mini-Game: WarioWare: Smooth Moves' "Toilet Training" (Wii) - In a year defined by bland and derivative mini-game collections, the best of the bunch requires you to direct crotch-clutching citizens to the appropriate facilities with your Wiimote. If only Finding a Cure for Cancer Hero wasso popular.īest Sound Effects Not Fit for the Wife: Conan (PlayStation 3, Xbox 360) - A barbarian's world is littered with thong-wearing maidens in need of rescuing. ![]() GHIII may be the year's biggest craze, but witnessing victory over its toughest songs actually feels a bit more pathetic than exuberant. Each screen is like a piece of fantasy art and would look entirely fabulous airbrushed on the side of your minivan.īest What Have I Done With My Life?! Moment: Mastering Guitar Hero III (various) - The day you beat DragonForce's "Through the Fire and Flames" on Expert mode is the day you should step in front of a speeding tour bus. ![]() Already a word-of-mouth hit, despite being released only this month, WordJong is perfect for quiet afternoons, loud commutes, or romantic walks on the beach.īest Old-School Graphics: Odin Sphere (PlayStation 2) - Don't count out 2D games just yet: This re-imagining of Norse mythology boasts a hand-drawn, painterly quality that next-gen 3D renderings haven't managed to replicate. Best Sleeper Hit: WordJong (Nintendo DS) - It may not sell like Mario, but this mishmash of Scrabble and mah-jongg hooks you like handheld crack.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |